i'm currently writing here to express my deepest feeelings. we started out as friends. joking and laughing together. who would knew I will fall in love with you? so when I know that she still like me, I began to laugh it off because i thought it was impossible to fall in love with her. soon, the impossible happen. she lent me her psp. even though it's just a psp, I felt it was like she lending herself too me. I took care of it with all my heart. so from then on, the feelings started to bloom inside me. before I realize it, i was in love with her. She really took me away with her smile and her beautiful face. how could be so blind that there was actually a beautiful girl like her so close to me. i'm sucha ass. I don't care about the whole world when I'm with her. my love with her was very strong as if i felt she was the right one. she's not a 'minah'. just a sweet girl next door. i swore to her that I'll stop smoking as a dedication for my love for her. finally, I found a reason to live my life happily...

i told her i like her even though i have way more things to express my love for her. ask her to go steady with me. she said,"give me time." i gave her time. mayb too lil time. i spent a whole week trying to get close with her. making her a birthday card for her bday was on the 15 of may. she never seem serious with me and always left me behind. that's where I thought, "please don't let it be that she doesn't like me." sorry, it wasn't even a thought. it was a cried. a plea. then came 15 of may which is today. walk with her to send her to the mrt. gave her the present and i thought she may like me. leaving her happily and me happily. text her later to give me a yes or no.



then, when i reached home. decided to chill and go online. she was online. she told me the most heartbreaking truth I ever come across in my life. "about the yes or no, i like you as a friend. but i cannot like get it work out. i think we should be just close friends..." my heart just sank....so deep that all i could say is "oh ok. understanded. =)". it was a smile of deep sadness. after that, immedietly took my mp3 and lie on the bed. covering my face with a pillow. listening the saddest song and crying. yes, I was crying. i never cried for somethin so real before. it was the 1st time i cried with all my heart out...tear drops just kept rolling. i couldn't control it. it really hurts me more than you know it because I never fell in love so deep with a girl. the high hopes and plans I have after we go steady, just collapse.



WHAT HAVE I DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU? I KNOW I PIERCE BUT I CAN GET REMOVE IF YOU WANT. I KNOW I SMOKE BEFORE BUT I HAVE NOT GOTTEN A PUFF SINCE THE DAY MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU CHANGED. IF YOU HAVE GONE STEADY WITH ME, I'LL BECOME THE MOST HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD AND I PROMISE TO TREAT YOU WITH EVERY CARE AND CONCERN. I PROMISE TO BECOME THE BEST BOYFRIEND YOU EVER HAD. I PROMISE TO BE BETTER THAN THOSE EX YOU HAD. I PROMISE THAT YOU WILL BE THE CORE OF MY LIFE. WIHOUT YOU, I WILL SIMPLY DIE. DID YOU KNOW THAT I FELT LIKE DYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME THE TRUTH? TELL ME WHAT DO I HAVE TO CHANGE. I'LL PROMISE I'LL CHANGE FOR YOU. WHETHER MY BEHAVIOUR OR ATTITUDE OR ANYTHING.



let just summarize this: I really love you XoXo...i really do.

Labels: heartbroken.